Yay! I managed to convince Andy to go out and play after dinner. Oh and the weather was really nice at 7:30, low 80s with a nice breeze. And because the weather was nice, he stayed and rode his bike rather than going in and out of the house.
Now I wish I could convince him to leave his clothes on in the house. He is just too old to be walking around in boxer briefs.
I remember a few friends when I was growing up. I never really gave it much thought. There were some kids on the block and sometimes we played together. There was never anyone I had to see everyday. I was good at playing on my own.
I made friends in school but rarely saw anyone outside of school. Almost everyone else lived in Detroit and I wasn't allowed to just go over there. And when my mom started working at the school, my sister and I became latchkey kids. We had to go directly home and stay inside until mom got home. This led to me watching lots of TV and my sister on the phone.
In high school, friendships were already formed and I was the outsider. I made a few friends, one of which I still have to this day. But the whole thing does not come naturally to me.
I still have trouble meeting and making friends. I guess I am shy or unsure of what to say. The internet is a big help because you can take your time and try to make a good first impression. When we moved down here, I wanted and needed to make friends. Joining the MOMS club helped a lot. I made some wonderful friends who really helped me when I needed it. Unfortunately, most of my good friends have moved away. And we don't keep in touch like we should. And I have let some friendships slide over the years falling to exchanging Christmas cards and photos of our kids.
Neighbors are another thing. I thought they could be good friends, close friends. Maybe they can. I haven't seen it happen to me yet. There are 2 neighbors of mine. They are good friends with each other. They are friendly to me but I still feel like the outsider. Not always sure what to say. Always having to feel apologetic for the behavior of my kids. Being left out of their outings.
I think friendship is going to be one of those things that I have to keep working on.
The bus was late this afternoon. Twenty minutes late. I knew that Ryan would be upset. The bus driver said that dismissal was delayed because of criminal activity. He didn't know anymore than that. He said the boys did well.
But Ryan wouldn't open his eyes. It's his ostrich tactic when this are going badly and he doesn't want to face them. I carried him from the bus to the garage then made him walk. Still he would not open his eyes. Lucky for him I was in a pretty good mood even though I had just spent over $100 at the grocery store. I stayed calmed and sympathized. I find that agreeing with him lets the foul mood pass more quickly. We laid down in my bed and talked and then played. He didn't want to go back to school ever again. He wanted to switch schools. He wanted the school to go out of business. At 5 pm, he felt better and was ready to go on his way.
That's just one of Ryan's quirks. He has to be on time. Once he got his watch, he demanded that everyone else be on time as well. It drove the teachers a bit mad. Last year, they took down the schedule which listed the times each activity was to be started and completed. There are no class bells so the times could be a bit flexible. Ryan is not.
This year Ryan got into some behavioral problems. They took away some items that they deemed "privileges." One of the items is his watch. He cannot wear it in school until he earns it back. So he outsmarted them and wears it on the bus but puts it in his backpack before he gets to school. Then he puts it back on when he gets on the bus to go home. So he knows when he is "late."
Ryan makes up a lot of rules dealing with time. At 7:15 pm, he sits on the potty and plays with his DS. At 8:00 pm, he takes a bath. At 8:30 pm, he wants kisses and the light turned off. Early is OK, late is not.
Busy day for us. Pool, bank, lunch, gas, Target, chiropractor... Last time we were at Target, Ryan wandered away and we had to call code yellow. So I talked with him today and thought he understood NOT to wander away. I was wrong. Everytime I called out for him Andy got upset which made me get more uptight.We found Ryan in the candy aisle amongst a pile of gummi bears he had dropped on the floor. I did my best not to yell since that only makes things fall apart even faster. Once I got him to tell me that he did it, I grabbed a bag and made him pick them up. Do you know how much gummi bears are? $6.99 per pound. Ryan managed to drop a pound and half! And I felt I had to be honest. I told the cashier but he did not make us pay. He saved Ryan's hide.
Why does this title stick in my head today? It might be that Ryan has turned crazy ugly weird. It could be that he first grabbed (then asked) to use my new Brother P-touch Labeller and proceeded to copy a chapter of the bible onto strips of (rather expensive) stickers to put onto a sheet of white paper. It could be that when I saw what he did and said (quite loudly) OH My God! and Andy covered his ears so I calmed down and did NOT give Ryan the tongue lashing I felt he deserved. I tried to reason with him that it was too (friggin) expensive to print out a chapter that way. We could use the computer and make sticker strips. I even offered him the other tape which is black on clear. But he wanted the black on white which makes no sense (to me) since he is just putting it on white paper.
It could be that he loves to looks at guide books but doesn't want to travel anywhere. He also doesn't want anyone else to look at the books.
But I think it has more to do with the fact that Ryan is crazy. At least today he is. He doesn't want Andy to follow him. But he doesn't want Andy to be first either.
And I didn't mention that next Wednesday is the last day of school. Then we have 3 full months before they go back. What in sam hill am I supposed to do with them when they get bored during a 3 day weekend?
When negotiating with kids, it's important to know their currency. WHAT will make them do something you want or make them STOP doing something you don't want? It's hard to know with my boys. Maybe with any kids. Seems like what works one week, will not work the next. You have to constantly renegotiate the terms. UGH!
Ryan was enthusiastic to do his chores/tasks for the points. Then he slacked off. I had to threaten no more scrapping. Then he goes over the edge and claims he will never scrap again, EVER!
Andy told me he DID his task so he could watch the movie. He didn't. I don't think he actually meant to lie but only said what he knew would work to get what he wanted.
It might be easier to do the cleaning myself but then again my back can't handle it and they wouldn't learn anything.
