orange you glad you aren't a bully?

The boys are wearing orange in support of Unity Day. Unite Against Bullying.

I saw it in a tweet last night and asked Andy if he had any orange shirts. "I'll have to find out." I knew he had a long sleeved shirt in orange and mentioned it. "What shoes will I be wearing?" Whatever shoes you want to wear? "I will wear socks and tennis shoes." Did someone tell you to wear those? "I don't know."

Both boys have some odd "rules" they have placed on themselves. It is a coping mechanism to live with things they cannot control. Andy prefers to wear short sleeved shirts, shorts and sandals. If he wears a long sleeved shirt then he "must" wear sneakers and socks. OK.

I went to tell Ryan about Unity Day but he already had an orange shirt pulled out to wear. I looked in his closet and saw he had several orange shirts though he doesn't wear them. The long sleeved shirts in his closet had a layer of dust on them. Ryan doesn't wear long sleeved shirts unless it is very cold. He will only wear them outside the house and change when he comes home. 

This morning, Andy got dressed and came to me, "I found this one." It was an orange short sleeved shirt. He hasn't worn it much and it looked new. Andy wears mostly grey t-shirts from Cotton Bureau. I think it is because they are so darn soft. Andy was happy that he didn't have to wear sneakers and socks.

It was 66 this morning. Both boys were in orange t-shirts, shorts, and sweatshirts.

special olympic state games

Andy was chosen to participate in the Special Olympic State Games in cycling. Andy went with the school group Friday morning. They went to Downtown Disney and had dinner at ESPN Wide World of Sports.

I found this on my photo stream in the morning. It was cool to see Andy having a good time without me.

Ryan & I went over to EPSN Wide World of Sports around 8:30. Sam and his parents were already there and set up. We moved the van and joined them. Andy showed up. He looked tired and hungry but was happy to see us.

We hung around and waited for them to call us.

The boys thought it was cool to hang out in the truck bed.

Andy did his 500m. He kept fiddling with his bell and lost time. I actually made it to the other side to see him finish.

Hanging around. Andy did have some goldfish.

Andy won 2nd place. Sam won 1st.

Andy ready for his 1k race.

Andy did OK. Sam came in ready to “die.”

Andy got a bronze. Sam got a silver. He was OK but took it off as soon as he could.

Ryan kept track of the riders and their order.

We left and ate lunch at CFA in Celebration.

school's out

Today is the last day of school but both boys are home. They decided not to go today because there isn't anything for them to do. Andy cleaned out his desk yesterday and brought a bag home of supplies he didn't use. Ryan never used his locker so there wasn't anything to clean.

This morning, I woke up at 4:15. I got up at 5. Andy was already awake! On school days, he drags himself out of bed at 5:45. On non school days, Andy is up and raring to go before 6. 

Ryan never changes his schedule. He goes to bed at 8:30 and gets up at 4:45. Ryan hates to miss school so I was really surprised when he said he would stay home.

an unexpected teacher

George Carlin is an educator.

Yes, that George Carlin.

When my dad came down to visit in the winter, he would set up his windows laptop at the kitchen table. We had Apple computers but the boys liked trying out this different operating system. One year, he came down with an updated Google Earth app. This version had YouTube video links. The videos were pretty safe and silly and the boys loved watching them over and over. Soon, the boys learned to browse YouTube on their own computers. At least YouTube defaults to safe search if you don't have an account.

They found Thomas The Tank Engine videos people had uploaded. We had most of the video tapes but they could watch what they wanted and repeat it over and over. George Carlin narrated many of the Thomas videos. YouTube suggested other George Carlin videos which were not quite as kid friendly. An aside, I do not know why someone would make a video of George Carlin reading his audio book. But people did and my boys loved to listen to them. My boys have great aural memories and could soon repeat many of Carlin's bits. 

Ryan found my copy of When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops? on my bookshelf and started reading it. I am not sure how much he understood but I let him read it. Ryan has read most of the Carlin books several times. Andy prefers listening to the audio.

When the boys started repeating some of Carlin's thoughts on religion, I knew we had a problem. My dad is very Catholic. Carlin was not. I told the boys that they could read or listen to the bits but not to repeat them in front of Poppa. Surprisingly, they understood and we didn't have any problems.

The boys learned about curse words. Carlin used the f word a lot. Andy was repeating a bit that included this word. He knew he shouldn't say the word but didn't know what to say instead. In this case, I instructed him to say what the heck. It worked and I didn't hear the f word from either boy. One time Andy was repeating another bit and substituting hecking instead of the f-ing word Carlin used. Oh, heck is not as versatile as the f-word and we need another lesson in appropriate words. 

Another time, Andy walked in repeating another Carlin bit which is in the form of a cheer. I told Andy he is not to repeat that and Ryan asked why. I explained that there are many words which are not appropriate in their usage. Ryan asked, “Like pussy and snatch box?” Once I picked up my jaw from the floor, I tried to explain what these words meant. “I know what they mean!” Sure pussy can meant cat and snatch means to grab and box is something you ship or store something in. But they can have other meanings and I tried to explain. But Ryan didn't want to listen. Like any other 13 year old boy, he did not want to talk about sex with his mother. But I prefer to teach him the meanings of these words at home rather than he say them at school and be embarrassed or in trouble.

The boys do not socialize like regular kids. They prefer to stay at home. So they pick up bad habits and incorrect facts from YouTube. I have had to explain gay and homosexual. Though I was uncomfortable, I explain without opinion and prejudice and Ryan was OK with it.

You never know where kids are going to learn. There are worse people than George Carlin.

do not disappoint

On Sunday morning, I got up and walked. I didn't do it because I wanted to, I did it because I told Andy that I would.

I usually walk Saturday mornings then wash my work out clothes on the delicate cycle. I didn't walk on Saturday and didn't wash my clothes. Andy noticed and questioned me. I could see that it bothered him. I told him that I would walk on Sunday and wash my clothes afterwards. This made him smile and say that he would eat the bagels. Huh?

On Saturday mornings, I toast 4 bagels for Andy. He eats them throughout the morning. Even when they are cold. He had eaten 3 of the bagels when he noticed that I hadn't washed my workout clothes. Once a compromise was met, he finished the bagels. It is silly but it is how Andy deals with situations he cannot control. Instead of getting upset and pouting, crying or having a tantrum, he withholds something of his own. Sometimes he will not allow himself to watch a favorite video. Ryan has known to do similar things as well. They would rather cancel everything or go without that change the routine.

When Sunday morning came, I did not want to get up. I did not want to walk. But I did get up. Because I did not want to disappoint Andy after I told him I would walk. The walk was OK. I have been feeling lethargic and out of sync. I didn't feel better after I was done. I felt relieved like a chore completed. I showered and put my clothes in the washer. Andy was there to see me select delicates. His smile is what made me feel better.

Why is OK to disappoint ourselves but not OK to disappoint others?

picky eaters & other quirks

My boys are picky eaters. This is typical with kids with autism. It is one of those things that you learn to work around. The boys were good eaters until the toddler years. All kids go through that. My kids never stopped. In some ways they have gotten worse. 

I understand some of their issues. I am a picky eater too. I do not like steak but I love hamburgers. It is a texture thing. I love tomatoes but hate ketchup. I don't dip fries into ketchup. My boys never learned to dip.  But I know when I have to give in. I once at ate chicken livers when I was in Poland. We hadn't had a decent meal in a couple of days and were out of options. Kids with autism will not give in. They will starve before they give in. 

Some of their food routines... 

Breakfast

Last year, I used to fix Lenders Cinnamon Raisin bagels. I toasted 4 bagels. Andy ate them all. Maybe once a month, Ryan ate 1/2 bagel. On school days, Andy didn't eat much before he left. But he would eat the leftovers when he gets home. They were cold and stale and he would eat them. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I fixed the leftover sausage from Sunday. I used to fix biscuits but Andy stopped eating them so then I just toasted a couple of bagels to go along with the sausage. Andy would eat the sausage but skip the bagels until he got home. 

Then Andy started high school. School starts at 7:30. He has to get up at 6 and catch the bus at 6:50. Andy is not a morning person. He would eat his sausage on Tuesdays and Thursdays but nothing the other days. Andy's lunch doesn't begin until 12:10. It is a long time to go without food. I asked Andy if he would eat sausage if I made every week day. He was excited with that idea. Monday and Tuesday, Andy eats the leftovers from Sundays. I cook up a fresh batch on Wednesday and Andy eats that the next three days. On Saturdays, Andy eats 4 toasted bagels. It takes him all morning the way he grazes. 

On Sundays, we have waffles and sausage. Andy eats 2 waffles and 5 sausages. It is routine. He cannot deviate, unless he is sick.

Ryan usually eats cookies or donut holes. And chocolate milk. Lots of chocolate milk. Ryan will nibble the edges of the cold, plain waffles but nothing else. 

Lunch

At home I fix grilled cheese. Only Andy will eat this. Years ago, when Ryan ate as well, he used to leave the crust. Andy picked up this habit and won't stop. 

When we go out to eat, we do drive thru through two different places. Andy prefers Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets and fries. Ryan will only eat fries from McDonald's. We stop at McDonald's first where Ryan gets medium fries and Andy gets small fries. Then we go to Chick-Fil-A. For years, Ryan's preference was Wendy's until they switched their fries. And there was a time when Ryan preferred Arby's home style fries until they stopped carrying them. Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays so Andy used to hot dogs until he got tired of them. He started eating McDonald's chicken selects until they stopped making the Chicken Selects. I make grilled cheese for Andy. One Sunday, I stopped at Target and got a Pizza Hut Personal Pan Pizza for Andy. He really liked that. But I cannot stop there each week. I told him I will get him pizza every other week. He is OK with that. 

Lunch at School

For Andy's lunch: 1/2 cup Multi-Grain Cheerios, 5 club crackers, 1 cup Whole Grain Goldfish crackers. He usually eats the Goldfish and the cereal, the Club crackers are eaten last. He drinks a thermos os Juicy Juice.

For Ryan's lunch: 1/2 cup Chocolate Cheerios, 5 Club Crackers. He always eats the crackers and about 1/3 of the Cheerios. Ryan drink Capri Sun. It is the only time he will drink juice.

Dinner

Andy eats Tyson Southern Style Chicken Nuggets. Every night. Nothing else. Sometimes Ryan will eat one nugget. Most days, Andy eats the whole box. We rarely eat out for dinner.

Snacks

Ryan eats his cookies and donut holes and chocolate milk. Ryan does not differentiate from snack and meal. Ryan is my chocolate boy. He used to eat plain Hershey Kisses. I had gotten a bag of Dark Chocolate Kisses for me. I noticed the bag on the floor, empty. He ate the whole thing and did not get sick! We moved to caramel kisses and kept them in the refrigerator. I used to keep them on a high shelf then Ryan got tall and smart. I cannot find these locally anymore. I have to go to another Target.  

Andy will eat Entenmann's Pop'Ems if he is hungry between meals. Or Club Crackers. 

Special Meals

Andy likes pizza. He prefers Papa John's thin crust with cheese only. Andy will eat half of a large pizza. He will not eat leftover pizza. Ryan has not eaten pizza since he was 5 years old. 

Foods they used to eat

Chips: Ryan used to bring home snack bags of chips. He got them from his teacher for being good. He used to eat them. He preferred the rippled kind. Then he stopped eating them. Andy used to love Pringles in his lunch but he stopped eating them. 

Cookies: Ryan has always been my sweet eater. And he would try different cookies. Especially if he picked them out at the grocery store. He loved Oreo Uh-ohs. He liked chocolate chip cookies. He even tried Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies. He won't eat any of these anymore.

Candy: Andy has never liked candy. His teacher used to use it for rewards. Some kids used to try to sneak it. She started putting it by Andy because he wouldn't eat it not would he let the other kids eat it. Ryan used to use m&m's. He is the only kid who got messy eating them.

Packaging

The boys don't like change. 

Manufacturers love to change the design of the packages. This was always a problem. I had to show the kids it was the same and they were OK. Mostly. Then Keebler changed the cookie! Andy used to eat EL Fudge cookies. The front of the cookie is the front of the elf. The back of the cookie, was the back of the elf. Then they changed the back to some words. Andy would not eat them anymore.

Other Quirks

Ryan does not like to sit inside restaurants. The exception is  McDonald's at DisneyWorld where they show old Disney cartoons. Andy likes to eat inside. We eat inside when Ryan is not with us. 

pink eye

Health wise, we have been pretty lucky. The boys have had their share of colds and flu but we haven’t needed the doctor in years. During spring break, Andy woke up with a red and swollen eye. There didn’t appear to be any injury and I took a wait-and-see approach. The eye continued to be red and puffy through the day and the next. It starting weeping the next day. Again, I wasn’t too concerned. I have had my own problems with allergies affecting my eyes. Perhaps Andy was developing and allergy? I told Andy not to touch his eye but to use a tissue to wipe it.

When the drainage became thicker, I should have called the doctor. I knew Andy would not want to go. I didn’t want to go. I thought we could try some over-the-counter eye drops. Due to Easter holiday, that took a few days to get done. By the time I got eyes drops, Andy’s eye was red and gross.

I showed Andy that getting the drops wouldn’t be difficult by putting a drop in my own eye. I had him lie on the bed and look the other way. It wasn’t easy but we got it done. I was hoping we would see improvement by the end of the day.

The next day, Andy’s eye was not quite improved but not worse either. We continued with the drops. By the end of the day, it did seemed improved. The drainage had lessened.

Andy was supposed to got to school Tuesday morning. But his eye was still bad. He had had only 2 days with the drops and maybe a third would be the trick. I let him stay home. He spent the morning in his room.

On Wednesday morning, there was no improvement and Andy wanted to stay home. Again he spent the morning in his room. When he came out for lunch, I saw that his eye was worse. I called the doctor.

We got in right away. Dr LaCross was pleasant and patient with Andy. She said it was conjunctivitis and that he would need eye drops. She tried to look in his ears. Andy is blessed with heavy ear wax and she couldn’t see in his right ear. She said that there is sometimes ear infections on the same side as the eye. It was Andy’s right eye that was infected. She offered to clear the ear but I knew that wasn’t going to go well. I said I could do it at home and she agreed. She also gave us some sample eye drops so we wouldn’t have to pay for a prescription.

We went home and I put in an eye drop. This stuff in concentrated so 1 drop, twice a day is all that is needed. The thicker drops are harder to get out of the tiny bottle.

Andy wanted to go to school on Thursday. He wanted to go 2 days, not just one. I let him go even though he should have stayed home the 24 hours after the first dose. The clinic called right away and told me Andy’s eye was bothering him. I asked Andy if he wanted to go home but he did not. I said he could call if he wanted to come home later. The clinic called at 10:30. I figured this coincided with Andy’s work time at school.

We went through drive-thru at Chick-Fil-A and went home. Andy stayed in his room until Ryan came home. Andy’s eye continued to improve but he wanted an exact time when his eye would be better.

On Friday morning, Andy wanted to stay home. I didn’t argue with him. I felt guilty enough for ignoring the problem in the first place and let him stay home. He stayed in his room during the morning but came out in the afternoon bouncing to music. His eye is still a little red but the drainage is gone and it doesn’t seem to bother him at all.

Social Thinking and Common Core Standards

Schools are beginning to understand learning is not only about the books. 

it is bowling season for special olympics

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The high school open house was a little different for the ESE kids. Most of their classes are in the same room with the same teacher so they added extra topics for us to learn about. We went to one room to learn about Special Olympics. We were told that the kids need an average of 30 points for 10 games in order to qualify for area bowling on September 29. The first event is scheduled for September 12. They usually play only 2 games. When can they play the other 8 games?

I asked Andy if he wanted to bowl on Saturday. He wanted Ryan to go but Ryan wanted to stay home. I got Andy to understand that he needs to bowl if he wants to qualify. I emailed Pin Chasers to ask about open bowling but didn't think I needed to reserve a lane. I emailed two other moms to invite them. One mom emailed me back and said they would try to be there. I did not hear from other mom until Saturday morning. She texted me to say she was going to be there with her kids and her sister's kids. She called Pin Chasers to reserve a couple of lanes and texted back that Pin Chasers was booked with a Breast Cancer fundraiser. (They never mentioned that in their email.) They might open some lanes depending on the crowd after 1:15. 

I decided to take the chance and we went to lunch. Andy wanted to eat inside at CFA. We drove up Morris Bridge to Pin Chasers. 

The boys also like to play video games. But each game is $1  to play and you must purchase tokens.  We brought some tokens we had purchased from Extreme Adventure. (When we were there in June, I learned that the tokens are interchangeable.) I didn't worry that I was using other tokens to play video games at PC. We spend at least $30 for bowling and tokens on a typical visit.

We got to Pin Chasers about 12:30. I explained that we needed to bowl for Special Olympics. We asked for a lane and were told there was one opening up soon. He asked how many games and I said 4 and was charged $1/game. The last time we were leaving, one of the senior workers asked if my kids had specials needs. I said yes and he said he wish he had known as we would have gotten the discount. I said that was OK not knowing how big the discount was. We paid about $24 for the boys to play for 2 hours but they only played 2 games.  

Andy played the first two games with the bumpers. He did well. It was good that he didn't have to wait for someone else so he didn't wander away and get distracted. We took a short break between games two and three. Andy played the last two games without the bumpers. He did better when he concentrated. I think he was getting tired and bored. His scores were 62, 89, 66 & 47.

Andy played some more video games. He liked the speed boat. I played the pinball machine. We played one game of air hockey then went home. We have a lane reserved for next Saturday.

a visit to the doctor

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I procrastinated again. Andy brought home the special olympics application form a couple of weeks ago. I did not make an appointment for a physical until Wednesday. On Tuesday, I went to the high school for Open House. We learned that the form had to be in by September 7! Crud. 

I made a reminder to call 9 am on Wednesday. And when the alarm sounded, I called the doctor Andy saw 3 years ago. However, Dr. Sikes no longer gives physicals for Special Olympics. Double crud. Now I had to find a doctor and pay for the exam. 

I called Andy's pediatrician. Andy is no longer in their system, his pediatrician no longer works at that office and they have no appointments before Friday. I call another office. They do have an appointment for Thursday at 11:00. They told me to bring Andy's immunization record. I looked in his binder and saw that we had not been to see this pediatrician since 2002. 

Because of the autism, we did not go to the doctor unless necessary. We saw plenty of specialists and each visit was stressful. The boys got sick but not anything more than a cold or flu. Nothing that required a doctor visit nor antibiotics. For immunizations, we went to the county clinic because they were free and didn't require an appointment nor exam.

When Andy got home, he asked about the appointment. He would be happy to go back to Dr. Sikes. He recalled that the restroom only had one toilet and no stalls. I told him about the new office. He seemed OK with it especially knowing he would get out of school early.

I got to the school early. I never know if it is going to be a problem bringing him to the office. Also, new school, new procedures. There were no problems and we got to the doctor's office early. It was good because I had so much paperwork to fill out. They even gave Andy his out confidential questionnaire regarding drugs and sex. It was in its own folder so he could fill it out and give it to the doctor without me seeing. I filled it out for Andy. If there is a benefit to autism, I am pretty sure my boys will not smoke nor take drugs as they are so picking about eating. Neither boy will take medication and would rather cough that take cough syrup.

We were alone in the well child waiting room for a few minutes. Two women came in with a toddler. He was loud but happy. He screeched and soon got on Andy's nerves. I was ready to take him out but the mother noticed and offered. I thanked her for her generosity. Another mother and son came in. This toddler was quiet and Andy was not bother by his presence.

We were called back and they weighed Andy, 168 pounds, took his temperature, and measured his height, 72". He did not want the “squeeze” so they skipped the blood pressure. We went into a room and finished the paperwork and handed it over. Andy walked around the room and then sat on the exam table. He did not like the paper rustling under him. He didn't like that it ripped.

The doctor came in and gave the exam. Andy was hesitant but the older doctor was patient. He asked me some questions and said he would skip the genital exam. Whew! We were done and ready to go. We had to wait a while for the doctor to get the charges posted on the computer. Andy waited outside under the covered area.

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I was happy to see the charges were only $40. The clerk explained that I was charged the camp physical fee. That made sense because it was not a true comprehensive exam.

It was raining heavily and didn't look like it would be stopping soon. Andy did not want to get wet so I ran for the car. And by ran I mean jogged as quickly as my fat self could go. I got soaked. I picked Andy up so he could remain dry. 

We drove down to Chick Fil A for lunch. Andy chose the one farther away. It would have been a good choice but he chose the Interstate rather than the direct route straight down Livingston. Oh well. Then we drove back up to Toys R Us. I wanted to look for more series 8 Minifigures and I felt Andy deserved a treat for behaving well. There were only 6 Lego bags left and I took them all knowing that at least three were figures I already had. Andy was happy to look for Grem and Acer from Cars 2. He played with them the whole way home.